Interview on Being Confident

The following is an interview I conducted on beauty journalist Nadine Jolie. She talks about how she lives her day to day life with a positive attitude and how being happy with yourself is the only way to truly live.

  1. In today's day and age, many individuals define confidence in different ways. How would you define confidence?

  2. To me, confidence is about accepting yourself, warts-and-all, and being cool with the fact that none of us are perfect. I think there’s such a temptation to compare yourself to others, but as soon as you relax and just enjoy who you are (the good, the bad, the ugly…but hopefully, more of the good!) you’re free to be the best version of yourself. Other ways to increase confidence: take care of your health (which includes paying attention to your grooming: hair, nails, teeth, breath, etc!), smile, show compassion for your fellow human beings (and realize that they probably have confidence issues, too!) and love yourself.

  3. Many women view themselves as being unattractive, both physically and within. How can these women begin to see themselves in a positive light?

  4. Well, I think if there are things about your appearance that you don’t like, which you can improve within reason, go for it! I don’t think the key to confidence is about empowering somebody who neglects their health, their appearance and doesn’t make an effort to improve their attitude or be kind to other people. In fact, I almost find it cruel, and it’s definitely disingenuous. Confidence comes from striving to be the individual, personal best we can be! When people are unconfident, I think it’s because they’re recognizing a lack of effort in themselves, and also because they are comparing themselves to other people and making up stories about how they’re better for XYZ reasons. None of us will ever be Heidi Klum (except for Heidi Klum). But women who have made the effort at any size, any weight, any height, any whatever, to look their own personal best and treat themselves with respect and dignity—and once you hit that place, knowing you’ve tried, make peace with it—will have just as much magnetism as Heidi. After all, it’s not about being beautiful or skinny or a supermodel—plenty of those “gorgeous” girls lack confidence, too! Eat healthily, take pride in your grooming and cleanliness, be kind to others, and be kind to yourself. And smile! Increased confidence (even by a tiny bit!) will follow.

  5. How does the media play a role in setting the standard for what is beautiful?

  6. The media definitely plays a role, but we also must take responsibility ourselves. We buy into the images, we ooh and aah over them, we perpetuate the myth. Vogue magazine doesn’t come into my bathroom every morning and force me under pain of death to apply makeup, shave my underarms and wear high heels. I choose to do these things, for better or worse, and even with the media pressure out there, I could choose to not do these things. (In fact, I hate high heels and wear them as infrequently as possible.) The media is important in setting a standard, but so is your mom, so are your friends, so is your community. Societal pressure exists on a much smaller, micro-level. If I moved to Nyack, New York or Berkeley, California, I would be judged harshly for doing the very things that the media supposedly demands we do.

  7. Your job as a beauty journalist requires you to be a confident role model to women of all ages. What makes you confident?

  8. Like every person on this planet, I have moments of deep insecurity, and find my confidence wavering at times. All I can do is strive for my own personal best, try to add a little more sunshine to the planet and to my interactions, smile, and be kind to myself (not beat myself up for things!), and confidence usually follows. Even better: if I’m having a good hair day, my skin is clear and I’m wearing a great fragrance! ;)

  9. Are there any secrets you'd like to share in regards to being more confident and being more self-compassionate?

  10. Okay, this sounds incredibly cheesy, but I have a life coach named Sarah Klein (, and she always talks about being kind to your inner child. Essentially, the idea is that we all have a version of ourselves inside of us that is you, but younger. Rather than yelling at that kid and saying, “You’re so stupid. Why did you do that? He would have liked you better or called you back if you were prettier. She would have wanted to hang out and be your friend with you if you were cooler. The reason you didn’t get the job is because you’re not talented, etc”, you need to treat that kid the way you’d treat an actual child! Show it love, show it affection, be kind to it, give it hugs…basically do all the Stuart Smalley nonsense that people make fun of…and which really isn’t nonsense at all. It works!