Show interest.
When people talk to you, they want to feel that you are interested in what they are saying. You can use your body language to demonstrate interest in others. Although you may be distracted, you will find that you are more alert as you use these simple techniques to demonstrate interest.
1. As with listening intently, eye contact is important. Look into the other person's eyes as they are speaking, but do not stare. The appropriate level of eye contact depends on the cultural context. In the US, it is generally acceptable to look into someone's eyes for most of the time they are speaking with an occasional glance away.
2. Nod to show that you are paying attention to the other person. This communicates understanding.
3. Express interest with your eyes. If the other person says something surprising, raise your eyebrows. To show empathy, lean your head slightly to one side as you nod while maintaining eye contact.
4. Encourage the speaker with expressions such as "I see", "mmhmm" or "I understand." It is important to be sincere, however. Most people will easily detect if you are genuinely interested or merely responding to feign interest in the conversation.
5. Reflect the speaker's body language. Doing so can imply congruence with him or her. For example, notice if the speaker's legs are crossed or uncrossed, and try to match their body language.
6. Ask for clarifications of anything you do not understand.
7. Respond to the speaker's body language when appropriate. For example, you might tell a friend, "You seem upset. Is this hard for you to talk about?"
Examples
Friends and family
Tracy: I hope I get promoted at work to the human resources position. I've put in a lot of extra hours, and Denise, my supervisor, seems to really appreciate my efforts. I'm excited about it, but the competition is stressing me out.
Troy (nodding): I see.
Tracy: I'll be glad when they finally make the decision.
Coworkers and Employers
Denise: Our goal for this term is to raise $300,000 for new scholarships. We'll need to recruit donors from the North and West Philadelphia and bring in a few interns to help with event planning. We'll also need a team to brainstorm ways to market the new campaign.
Tracy: Hmmm.