Letters to the World

Dear Moma,

I got a couple of letters from you a few days ago. I was very glad to hear from [you]. But I can’t Actual letterhelp wishing I was home right now. This is one of the worst periods of time in Vietnam. This [is] the new years, it last anywhere from 5 to 10 days. This is going to be my most fearful periods of time that I spend over here.

I was very glad to read your letters. They made me happy—yet I became more homesick from thoughts and memories of home.

Momma what I have done over here is all going to be compiled in my book. This book I must write. I feel that it will be another milestone of our time. (Perhaps I’m dreaming but this is what I feel.) I have undergone some of Claude Brown’s experiences with life and of life. Though his took place in New York and mine I think has been a little more widespread, as you know, from “Manchild in the Promised Land.” Whereas he tried Marijuana and the other dopes or narcotics, I have experienced the trip or journey that one takes while influenced by them. All this is going into the composition. The fraud that the Army is, the duress on a soldier, frustrations, disappointments.

All this and more have a great influence on one’s life. Just as in that one letter I sent you, about how I was doing and this place. I feel that way man times over and over again.

I know for a fact that I’m not the same person I used to be.
I often sit around and think about my life, yesterday and tomorrow. Vietnam has done something to me I cannot 100% say right now, but soon I shall be able to say so. Then even I’ll know myself. Let’s say no more on that subject for now. We’ll talk if something really bad befalls me. OK. But I’ll write you whenever there is something burdening me.

Look here, July 9 isn’t far off now. Yet I’m still hoping for a 60 day drop or early out. That would be wonderful wouldn’t it?

Yet I feel that this place has disturbed me mentally for sure. With this in mind I do many things to contain myself and my sanity.

I’m gonna close for now.

But as I’ve always said

I’ll love you all
You Moma
Teroy
Willie
Edie & Boots
Love Ronnie
and Stella.
P.S. I’m listening to B.B. King’s “The Thrill is Gone.”
With a little Jimi Hendrix Band of Gypsies.
138 days I think
I don’t think I’m well anymore. my conclusion.

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© 2003 Jasmine McNealy