Everyone knows the cliché’ “communication is the key,” to having a strong and stable relationship. At times relationships do not last because the parties involved do not use and do not know how to use their communication skills properly. The result of this situation is the conclusion of the relationship.

In sexual relationships, anxiety and frustrations begin to occur because the parties involved do not express their wishes. People who are in a sexual relationship should attempt to verbalize any issues that they may have openly and honestly.

Here are some tips if you are trying to communicate with your partner. These tips will assist you with verbalizing yourself and processing your ideas.3

Break The Ice

· Have discussions with your partner about difficult subjects i.e. expectations.
· Share earlier experiences.
· Discuss all types of topics with your partner. This will allow an open line of communication.
· Your goal is to move slowly so that you will eventually be able to share yourself more with your partner.
· If you are having trouble verbalizing yourself, you can use materials as a reference to begin conversation.3

Listen and Provide Feedback

· Being an active listener will show your partner that the conversation is engaging.
· So that you can internalize what your partner is saying asking questions and repeating pieces of the conversation will also show that you are listening
· Remember to maintain eye contact try not to stare off into space while your partner is talking.
· Support your partner as he or she tries to communicate with you.
· Throughout the relationship, let your partner know that he or she is appreciated.
· Convey to your partner that whatever open communication is essential regardless of the nature of the conversation

Discover Your Partner's Needs

· Do not asked closed-ended questions. Remember to clarify your answers so that you can gain a better understanding of your partner.
· “If the subject you are interested in is particularly sensitive, try self- disclosing first. Self-disclosure will model trust and a willingness to take risks.”
· Compare notes with your partners about preferences. This will assist you in knowing what your partner does and does not like.
· Do not restrict your partner from talking about his/her feelings.3

Learn To Make Requests

· Be specific with what you want. Your partner is not a mind reader a will not automatically know your wishes.
· Specific requests may also assist you in getting what you want.
· “Use "I" language. Although it is sometimes difficult to personalize requests, it is often the best means of getting a positive response.”3

Delivering Criticism

· Be cautious of your actions. Are you trying to make your relationship better?
· Choose the proper and location time. Choose a good time to discuss an important topic with your partner. Also, try to choose a neutral location
· Balance criticism and praise. “This will reduce the likelihood of your partner responding in a defensive or angry fashion, and increase the chances of him/her accepting what you have to say.”
· It takes small steps to begin change. “Realize that it is normal to revert back to comfortable patterns that have developed over time, so don't be too discouraged if there is some backsliding.”
· Use the term “I don’t understand,” or “Can you explain that further?” Why questions are sometimes perceived as attacking.3

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