Addictions


Okay, let's face it-- everybody's got a few things that they're into just a little too much for their own good. So being the honest guy that I am, here're some of mine for your perusal.


Wakeboarding

Much like the tale of curiosity and the cat, this sport keeps trying to kill me, but satisfaction always brings me back. Or something like that. If you don't know what it is, it's kind of like snowboarding, only behind a boat. (Although I am getting sick and tired of describing it in those terms. Why is it that everyone in Florida is so knowledgeable about snowboarding and so ignorant of its big brother that goes on in their backyards?) It's also a big hole in the water that you throw most of your time and money into-- and it's the greatest thing I have ever done...except for that little leg breaking incident last July that has kept me off the water for almost nine months. So, lacking any recent pictures of me blowing it up, I decided to drop in a shameless plug for the manufacturer of the board I ride.

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Nintendo 64

While recuperating from the aforementioned leg injury, I had a lot of time on my hands. An awful lot. And since you can only watch so many cop shows, my attention soon turned to... the bane of intelligent thought everywhere, the Nintendo 64 entertainment system. The crown jewel of 64 games is Goldeneye, as in the James Bond movie. But after countless hours spent blasting automatic weapons at those sneaky Russians, I yearned for something more. And thank God, the kind people at Midway were there to supply it in Wayne Gretzky's 3D Hockey '98. A lifelong Southerner who had never been on ice skates, I was soon shouting technicalities at the computer referees, such as "THAT WAS NO GOAL YOU KNOW, THEY WAS IN THE CREASE!!" (And if you know what movie that came out of, you are a true conoisseur of junk '80's cinema.) Suffice it to say that when you find yourself pulling on a hockey jersey to sit on the couch and guide "your team" through the playoffs, you know you may need to condsider professional help.

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Professional Wrestling

Okay, brace yourself, because I'm about to speak the unspeakable: I like professional wrestling. It's fake, filled with gratuitous T&A, and appeals to a pretty low demographic, somewhere between your average middle-schooler and your average NASCAR fan. And I like it. In fact, I'm addicted to it. (that's what this page is about, isn't it?) I won't take classes that conflict with Monday Night Raw. I get every WWF pay-per-view, (only 5 weeks to WrestleMania, baby!!) and I lounge around the house in my Austin 3:16 T-shirts. A word about WCW, Ted Turner's federation: it sucks. Holler all you want about the man they call Goldberg, but I'll stick with the federation that brought me Rowdy Roddy Piper and Hulkamania. (Not to mention Jesse "that's Governor Body to you" Ventura.)

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