Where could you possibly have gone that's at all interesting?

Many, many places. To wit:

Salt Lake City
  • Over thirty US states, including Arizona, California, Colorado, New Jersey, Texas, Vermont, and Utah. (here -->)
  • Canada, where I went skiing and very nearly stayed at a hotel made entirely of ice. (They were full.)
  • England, wherein I had the best fish 'n' chips I've ever experienced.
  • France, in which the French were quite polite and didn't hate Americans, until we went to Paris. Hoo boy.
  • Germany, at a small town on the edge of the Black Forest. One person there knew English, and we had to run and find him any time we wanted to do anything more complex than ordering dinner.
  • Spain, on a school trip, surrounded by people who apparently crossed the Atlantic Ocean in order to drink a lot and pass out in museums.
  • Australia, where every single animal I encountered could have easily poisoned or eaten me. It's a scary country, but the people are friendly as anything.

That's a lot of places. How can you have gone to so many fascinating areas arond the world and yet still be such a boring person?

You know, if all you're going to do is insult me, you can just go to another Web site.

Why? This is such fun. Besides, I'm probably only here so I can grade your paper, so I can't leave. Mocking you is the only entertainment I have. Lord knows this Web site's putting me to sleep.

It would probably help if I knew what I was doing while I was writing it.

Imagine that.