michael fortuna's web-o-rama


Molly greets you with the Welcoming Frisbee

Oh, good. You're here.

I was afraid you weren't going to make it. Could I offer you something to drink? Something to eat, then? No? Oh, come on. It's just one lousy plate of crackers! It's not going to kill you or anything. Well, you don't have to get angry; I was merely trying to be polite to my guest. If that's how you feel...hey! Don't call me that! I've never heard those words used in the same sentence.

Ahem. Now that the formalities are out of the way, you'll want to know why you're here. More than likely you saw the name "Michael Fortuna" and wondered, "Who the heck is that?" and clicked on the link. Perhaps you accidentally hit this link instead of the one you originally intended to visit. Maybe you're being paid an exorbitant amount of funds to visit this site.

But no matter how you arrived, you're here, and you might as well look around this site. You could find something interesting or maybe even horrid.

But remember...

"Any view of things that is not strange is false."

Now, choose your path.

to the music page to the sci-fi page to the purge page

Questions? Profanity-laced comments? Why don't you e-mail me?

best viewed with a color computer monitor...last updated 29 september 1999


All links and images are copyright by their respective owners and are being used solely for entertainment and/or personal purposes. The author of the site is not responsible for each outside link's content. You're on your own. No monetary funds are being forked in through this site; nothing but love here. Swing is not "new." It's been around since the 1930s, and you stupid trend-setting freaks don't realize this. Jazz will live forever, like the cockroaches. If, for any reason, you are not fully satisfied with this site, please return unused portion for a full refund (with homage to MST3K). And don't leave any food on the floor. It attracts those stupid cockroaches. And, by the way, you are a true believer. Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Thou art a subject of the divine created in the image of man by the masses, for the masses. Let us be thankful we have an occupation to fill. Work hard, increase production, prevent accidents, and be happy.

The Force will be with you.