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My Testimony

Church Girl

God has blessed me tremendously with a family of strong Christian believers. I was saved when I was seven years old, and grew up in church. I never had a desire to get into trouble or do things I knew would disappoint my parents and God. But I now see how that was a gift. In a generation where depression, anger, abandonment, perversion, etc., is running rampant, how is it that I was saved from those things? Although I knew I was saved, and I didn't have a desire to do those things, I still struggled to have a personal relationship with Jesus. I was incredibly judgmental. In high school, I had taken it upon myself to tell everyone else what they were doing wrong. I often reprimanded my peers for cursing and drinking. Looking back I can see how ineffective that was. I hadn't taken the plank out of my eye before pointing out the specks in other's eyes (Matthew 7:1). I hadn't been speaking out of love, but rather self-righteousness.

Doubts

With my method of "saving" people, college became a major obstacle. I wasn't in my Christian bubble in more. Finding friends, even those who called themselves Christians, with my values was nearly impossible. Since day one of stepping onto U.F.'s campus, God has been breaking me of my judgmental heart. Change is unavoidable in college. People begin to form their own values and standards when they are away from their parents. Many of my peers who had grown up in the church, were now being taught that their faith wasn't logical. I wasn't immune to those attacks on faith. As a result, doubts slowly crept into my thoughts. The lowest part of my faith was in December 2006. In the middle of this massive worship session of 24,000 college students at Passion Conference, I was going deeper and deeper into doubt.

Whole Again

I can't explain it, but something wouldn't let go. In the summer of 2007, I applied for an internship with Charisma magazine. That summer changed my life. God showed Himself to me in a big way. Not completely recovered from my experience at the conference, I needed to know I wasn't forgotten. Four times during that summer, co-workers, and other people I had encountered, told me that God had spoken to them about me. One had the biggest impact on my life. Harry Gomes, a ministry founder in India, visited the magazine and prayed over the staff. When he came to me, he said some things that I will never forget. He told me that although I was courageous on the outside, I had much friction in my heart, and that God was using my job at Charisma to show me His power. What was amazing about his words is that I hadn't talked to him about my doubts. I had barely talked to him at all! God hadn't forgotten me!

Pure Joy

That summer firmly rooted me in my faith. I know I am still going to battle those doubts, and people who will try to convince me what I believed isn't logical. But I know I have the favor of the Lord, and He will never let me go. I now have pure joy. I've discovered a perfect love that I desire to share with everyone. I have a genuine personal relationship with Him, and I pray everything I do reflects that.

If you desire to know Jesus, or you need a church home, let me know!