Jessica Chasmar

What You Need to Know Before Traveling

The Bahamas

• Nurse sharks and Lemon sharks look
  very alike. DON'T PET THE LEMON
  SHARKS!
  
• Lampshade jellyfish, though very
  gross, will not sting you.
  
• If you step on a sea urchin, DO NOT
  REMOVE IT! Go to the nearest island
  doctor.
  
• Waterspouts, though beautiful, can
  KILL you.
  
• Do not throw your pet hermit crabs in
  the ocean. THEY WILL DIE.
  
• Don't touch anything in the ocean
  without gloves, especially coral.
  
• MOST IMPORTANT RULE: We drive
  on the LEFT side of the road.
  

The Caribbean

• When visiting hot springs, bring
  noseplugs.
  
• Do not get a tour guide. Drive until you
  find a native, make sure he's safe
  and pay him to show you around. Natives
  know where all the non-touristy places
  are and will charge you half the price.
• Be patient with sloppy drivers and slow
  customer service. You're on island time
  now.
• A beautiful, sunny day can turn into
  Thunderdome in less than 20 minutes.
  Plan accordingly.
• If you like diamonds, you came to the
  right place. The Caribbean has some of
  the most beautiful diamonds in the world
  at wholesale prices.
• When hiking, bring bugspray. The bugs
  in the jungle are like Pterodactyles.
• Like anywhere else in the world, don't
  drink tap water, fountain sodas or any
  beverages with ice.

Europe

• Contrary to popular belief, Romans love
  Americans and will often treat you like
  royalty.
• Blondes beware! Italians are obsessed with
  us.
• Close your eyes when traveling in a cab on
  the highway. Cab drivers have no problem
  doing 160 kph and using the emergency lane to pass other cars. Don't correct them, just
  pray.
• Keep your eyes open when traveling in a cab
  in the city. Cab drivers are known for
  cheating and taking tourists on the "scenic"
  route, rather than the faster one.
• Keep your hands on your purses at all times
  and mind your pockets even when speaking
  to children. Some of them are trained to rip
  you off.
• Women: Don't get offended if an Italian calls
  you "bella." Italian men are culturally more
  forward than American men.
• Where dinner in a restaurant in America
  lasts roughly an hour, dinner in Italy lasts for two or more. Enjoy yourself.