Authoritative Quotations

"There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again."
- President George W. Bush (9/17/02)

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Vice President Dan Quayle (10/13/92)

"I can see stopping a car for a dog. But a cat? You squish a cat and go on. I think we're overcomplicating life."
- Iowa Democratic State Sen. James Gallagher, on whether drivers should be required to seek aid if they hit a domestic animal (4/14/80)

"I'm Kent Brockman, on the eleven o'clock news tonight...a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal, we won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with funny Sonny Storm."
- From The Simpsons (2/3/94)

"When you come to a fork in the road....Take it."
- Yogi Berra

"The Internet is a great way to get on the Net."
- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole (1996?)

"No matter where you go, there you are."
- From The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)