B y the time I hit 9, though, I finally got Danielle's attention. Yes , she says that I annoyed her. So she might have avoided me a lot, or called me names, or told me to get away from her, or kicked me, but I knew she really wanted me, and I was wearing her down. I DID, AND HE WAS. In fact, had our nosey classmates not interrupted us, we would have had our first kiss as a result of a rather steamy game of truth-or-dare. STEAMY? IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL? RIGHT. Danielle says she wasn't interested then, but I'll have you know she quite willingly chose "dare" when I was the only boy playing! I DON'T REMEMBER THAT!

T The next year I went to another school, and, of course, Danielle missed me. I DID. Isn't that just like females? When you're there, lavishing them with attention, all they want is their space, but the second you leave they realize what a sweet deal they had and plot to get you back. I don't know how she did it, but Danielle found out where I was playing city league football and scammed her way into cheerleading there. This girl must have had some kinda massive intelligence network scouting out my movements or something . KEEP DREAMING KIDDO, PURE COINCIDENCE. In any event, the story gets a little hazy here. Supposedly I asked her to the homecoming dance, and then stood her up. YUP. HE MISSED OUT TOO, I LOOKED HOT! Now, I don't remember asking her to any dance, but I do remember being cornered by a bunch of miniature cheerleaders in the baseball dugout next to our football field on a particular rainy day. HE HAS A BAD MEMEMORY. I HONESTLY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THOSE GIRLS CORNING HIM. I DIDN'T START PUTTING MY FRIENDS UP TO STUFF UNTIL MUCH LATER. PEOPLE ALWAYS WANTED US TO BE TOGETHER ON THEIR OWN. If it happened anywhere, it would have happened there, because I would have said anything to get out of that dugout. AND YES IT DID HAPPEN IN THE DUGOUT, BUT WE WERE THE ONLY ONES THERE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

N ow, this is not to say that I was no longer interested in Danielle: if I did indeed ask her out, and remembered it, I would have been there with bells on. Well, not actual bells…well, actual bells if she had asked me to wear actual bells. She was one cute kid! HE REMEMBER'S IT CUZ JUST A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD TO GO OF TOWN WITH HIS PARENTS AND THAT'S WHY HE STOOD ME UP.

I n any event, after losing touch for a couple of years, we ended up going to the same middle school. Undaunted by my apparent lack of success in my earlier campaign, I picked up right where I had left off in 3rd grade, getting Danielle's attention anyway I could. I guess I was delighted on some level when she reacted just like she had in the good ol' days: she told me to get the hell away from her. I DON'T SWEAR! HEHE. As the year went on, my friend Carlos convinced me that I should ask her out. Being the smooth devil I was, I used the tried-and-true method I had seen on so many syndicated sitcoms: I told her that I had a friend who was interested in her, and he wanted to know if she was seeing anybody. Danielle looked deeply into my eyes and told me, "I can't date until I'm 13." IN MY DEFENSE TECHNICALLY I COULDN'T.

I was so naïve that I didn't even think this was a blow off. In my defense, she was sending me mixed signals: she invited me to her birthday party a just few days later. MIXED SIGNALS?! COULDN'T I JUST INVITE HIM AS A FRIEND? SEE HE ALWAYS WAS THIS COCKY. At this birthday party-despite being hit on the entire time by Raina Katz (remember her?) -I met one of Danielle's friends that I had never seen before. His name was Max, and he was obnoxious. I should have known right then that they were dating. I left the party, though, without a clue. I THOUGHT THAT HE KNEW.

I n my ignorance I was quite confident that Danielle would date me now that she was 13. I spent an entire day looking through the phone book, calling all of the Collins-es I could find. After an unsuccessful search, I decided to wait until I saw her after school that Monday. OH HE WAS SUCCESSFUL, MY DAD TOLD ME SOME KID HAD CALLED HIS HOUSE LOOKING FOR ME. I waited patiently the entire day until the last bell rang. Rushing out of class, I caught sight of my soon-to-be girlfriend, only to be intercepted by Jonathan Roe. He had been sent on a mission to deliver me a message: Danielle was spoken for, I was to give up hope. HE WASN'T SENT BY ME. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT UNTIL KNOW. ISN'T IT CRAZY HOW LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS WORK WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG?

A nd give up hope I did. I gave up hope so entirely that over a year later when Carlos asked me if I was looking for a girlfriend, I shrugged him off, said I was too busy for one. He had been hanging out with Sunny and Danielle a lot then (I won't even get into the murky details that spawned this crowd getting together), and one of the main reasons I disregarded his question was because I suspected his motive for asking me somehow involved the woman who had spurned me. That old wound that she had given me kept me at a distance for the vast majority of my 8th grade year, and my negative response to Carlos' inquiry gave Danielle the impression that I was the one who wasn't interested. CAN YOU TELL THIS BOY IS A WRITER? OH THE DRAMA!

L uckily for us there were other forces at work: Danielle's friends, who were becoming my friends through Carlos, had not given up. I MUST ADMIT I HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THEIR EAGERNESS TO UNIT US. Towards the end of the school year, strange things began to happen. For instance, people coming to the lunch table kept arranging themselves so that by the time Danielle arrived, the only seat left was next to me. THAT WAS ALL THEM. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TAKE MY SEAT! I also got invited to help out in the graphic arts lab to put together the yearbook; strangely enough, I often ended up paired on projects with Danielle. AGAIN, MY DOING, GETTING HIM TO GRAPHIC ARTS. BUT HE WAS PAIRED WITH ME CUZ HE WAS ALWAYS NEAR ME.

A bandoning subtlety altogether, the friends made a bold move on the morning of the 8th grade Disney trip: going directly against the seating plan Danielle had previously worked out with them, three of them (Sunny, Star and __ [was it Miriam??]__) took over the back seat of the bus, again leaving the only two empty seats so that Danielle and I would have to sit next to each other. IT WAS CRYSTAL. As oblivious as I was (and still am, my babes would say), I was beginning to catch on. Throughout the trip, as Danielle and I chatted casually, I couldn't help but notice the way she played with the pen in her mouth as she tried to get me to sign her yearbook. Was she trying to call my attention to her lips, I asked myself. After exiting the bus, our friends launched their most ambitious campaign yet: they ditched us. YEAH THEY DID! I TOTALLY WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT ONE. BUT THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED AND WERE WILLING TO DO ANYTHING TO GET IT. HEHE. I LOVE THOSE GUYS! AND AS SUNNY SAYS, I OWE IT ALL TO HER. HEHE. Danielle and I were all by ourselves for the entire day at Disney World. Though already exhausted as we entered the bus, we nonetheless talked the entire way back.

A lot of the conversation on the way back centered on my unflinching resistance to signing Danielle's yearbook. How could I sign it then, I asked myself, when in just a few days our relationship might change drastically? Danielle didn't understand then why I deferred her, and I think she was disheartened. YEAH THAT'S WHAT HE SAYS, BUT HE STILL HASN'T SIGNED MY SENIOR YEARBOOK! AND I'M ENGAGED TO THE KID!

S he kept at me, though. After a half-day at school, a group of us went to Sunny's house to watch a movie . Danielle was took the initiative and soon invited me to her house, directly down the street from Sunny's. Luring me over under the pretense of watching the hockey All-Star Game, and it wasn't too long before she was letting her intentions slip out in conversation. I was in heaven.

T he next week at school I decided to ask her out. I was a little nervous, but I had confided my plan to some friends, and they forced me to go through with it. We agreed to meet at the mall later that night. I was quite shocked when Danielle showed up at the mall with a friend. Though it was nice to meet Niki, I had hoped to have had some time alone. YEAH, I KNOW, NOT EXACTLY A ROMANTIC FIRST DATE. I TAKE THE BLAME FOR THAT ONE. Other than that, the night went pretty well, and I was truly disappointed when my parents came to pick us up (hey, I know it's not the coolest mode of transportation , but I was 15!).

I guess I wasn't clear enough when I asked Danielle out, because the next day at school, she wasn't sure if we had actually been on a date. HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO OUT 'SOMETIME.' I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT. Through a pool of mediators, it was determined that I had actually asked her out, she had accepted, and we had been on a date. These results were reported back to us, and we were officially dating. HEHE. To commemorate the event, our friends took what was to become our worst picture ever as a couple. Four days later, on my babes' 15th birthday, we had our first kiss, but that's a different story all together.

I guess I wasn't clear enough when I asked Danielle out, because the next day at school, she wasn't sure if we had actually been on a date. Through a pool of mediators, it was determined that I had actually asked her out, she had accepted, and we had been on a date. These results were reported back to us, and we were officially dating. To commemorate the event, our friends took what was to become our worst picture ever as a couple. Four days later, on my babes' 15th birthday, we had our first kiss, but that's a different story all together. AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE END.

Back to the Top