"Drivers in Gainesville are crazy! What driving rules should I abide by here?"

--Ruckus Richards, 21

There are few rules that anyone abides by in Gainesville, so instead, let me tell you how to gain the driving advantage:

• Don't stop at pedestrian crosswalks on campus. No one else does. It will just slow you down.
• Don't park in fire lanes at Albertson's or any other grocery store because you will get a $40 ticket.
• Always use your turn signals and keep your eyes on your blind spot. People love to switch lanes in this town and ride your blind spot.
• Don't tailgate. People will slam on their brakes and force you to hit them. Don't ever underestimate what people will do in this town for money, or a new car.
• On game days, don't park anywhere. Even if you think it looks like a parking space, even if it is a parking space, you will probably get towed. Beware!