Where have I been? I think the better question is where haven't I been? Tulsa. I've never been to Tulsa. I've never been to Japan either, but I'm planning to go after I graduate from grad school ("get my master's" is probably a better way to say that). Grammar aside, I've sketched out the most preliminary of agendas to travel the Pacific Rim with my father. I'd like to go to Japan (my friend Allen lived there for a while and says it's great), Thailand (my friend Jennifer went there and says it's not so hot, but what does she know?), Vietnam and Laos (Anthony Bordain, not my friend, goes to these places on his show, and says they're great). Actually, now that I think about it, the real reason I want to go east is because these places look pretty spectacular on TV. But I imagine you could make anywhere look pretty neat with a high-budget film crew. So, flawed rationale on my part... Still debating Laos.

Up until my senior year in high school, I had only traveled around the United States. Every summer, my parents would take my sister and I on a two-week trip before the start of school. We hit all the big cities, all the big parks. Chicago? Check. New York? Check. Yosemite and Yellowstone? Check and Check. We even spent a couple of weeks in this little shanty town in East Nowhere, Virginia. This place had a cabin, a lake, Jiffy Pop and country music. And that's about it - no television if I recall correctly.

During my senior year, I finally got to go to Europe, and on a school trip no less. We flew in and out of Amersterdam, and in between, traveled through six or seven different countries. Switzerland and northern Italy were especially memorable, but Austria made these two look like Tito and Jermaine standing next to Michael. I saw Julie Andrews there; she was singing. Twelfth century churches, cobblestone streets, blonde ice queens - this place had it all. In fact, I actually stayed in one of the hostels in which "The Sound of Music" was filmed. Is that Julie Andrews nod making sense now? That one's for you, Mom.

Turns out the Europe trip opened the flood gates. The following summer, I went with my family back to Italy - this time to Rome, Venice (a hell hole in the middle of June), and the Amalfi Coast, which is decidely not a hell hole, even in the middle of June. Fortunately, we also tracked down some long lost family members. Unfortunately, they had this unexplainable affection for cold expresso, and an aversion to air conditioning. And we couldn't speak Italian. Great food, though. Can't knock the food. Cheers to you, Franchenzo.

In time, I'll get some really cool pics of all these places up for you to see. Seeing as how I'm on a budget, a time budget, you're going to have to settle for photos that aren't even mine. The pictures of Australia belong to my mom and sister, who spent some 40 hours on a plane this summer so they could kick it with koalas and family friend, Anne Arnold (Australia's third biggest celebrity, behind Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman). Again, the photos aren't mine. But when you give somebody your camera and don't clear out the memory first... Well, then you get your personal memories leaked on an obscure Web site. Or worse, mine.